Posts Tagged ‘confidence’

Have you ever accomplished something that seems so big that it is almost impossible?

I’m 45 today!  Yup, it’s my birthday.  I recently decided that this was the year that I was going to do the things that I always thought I would do someday – starting with a triathlon.  Go Me! (I know. I’ve never been one for starting too small).  Now, as I have been told by all the inspirational gurus:

I can accomplish anything given enough desire, persistence, blah, blah, blah.

Here’s the catch:

  • I’ve never been a swimmer.
  • Triathlons include swimming.

Yes, I’ve splashed in pools and swum short distances, but mostly where I touch bottom or wear a life jacket.  I also have a pretty real fear of drowning thrown in the mix as my grandfather and sister both drowned.


So 3 weeks ago I faced my fears, bought a membership at a pool, and started my swim training.


Day 1: 1 length of the pool without stopping!


Not bad, right?…until I found out that the triathlon sprint (the shortest triathlon possible – I’m not completely crazy) will require about 28 laps.  A lap is one way, right?  WRONG…54-56 lengths of the pool (maybe I am crazier than I think?)


But here’s the good news.  3 weeks later, I am swimming 4 lengths…Only 50 to go!  (Sigh)


I have to consistently remind myself that I am making progress (I think I can, I think I can…) and I have created a new mantra while I’m in the water.  “I am a strong and confident swimmer” has replaced “Are you totally crazy?  There’s no way you’re going to be able to do this!”IMG_20140321_110008


We’ll see.  I think I can!


If anyone out there has some input on making this desire a reality, please share!  I’ll keep chugging along, but would love any additional support, inspiration, or advice.


Thanks and I’ll let you know the results come August…Can I do it???


I think I can!


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I have a whole new appreciation for those people throughout history who have spoken up for themselves and held their voice out to the world when they knew that they had the minority voice…Martin Luther King, Jr…Rosa Parks…

Inside, I know my point of view is valid and I feel so confident with my perspectives and know the world could be a better place with these thoughts out in the open.  I know also my voice is not the voice of the accepted norm in our society and it brings up all kinds of self-censorship.  Ironically, I just petitioned against SOPA because I do not believe in censorship.  I say with confidence, “no one has the right to censor me!!!”  I believe every voice matters.

So why do I censor myself?  

I was recently asked by a family member who was experiencing pain, “what do you think?”  OK, so I have a pre-med degree, experience with physical therapy, massage therapy, CranioSacral Therapy, Orthobionomy, Reiki, knowledge of the acupressure/acupuncture system, and over a decade of hands-on bodywork.  I have learned about the body from a mainstream scientific viewpoint as well as from an energetic perspective.  You could say I know a little about the body.  So I’m asked, “what do you think?” and all kinds of thoughts and perspectives start flooding in about where pain comes from, how it can be released, and even how pain is not bad and can be used as a tool to create wellness.

 So what do I respond?

“Could be lots of things” I say, adding a negating shrug for good measure.  I’ve apparently convinced myself that my perspective was not really wanted, so I went ahead and shut myself down before anyone else could.

What’s that all about?

I know that my voice and perspective is just as valid as anyone else’s voice AND I know I have a lot of experience on this subject matter.  So why can’t I speak up for myself?

And I did it again! I was at a party last night and met some new people who enthusiastically asked “what are you writing!?”

“Oh, uh, uh, well, uh, my unique thoughts on things…”

Way to go Vic!  Way to sell yourself!!  UGH!

Where’s the voice of confidence that I have with my husband and close friends?  I get outside of my little community of support and I totally choke, my confidence disappears and I feel like a bumbling idiot.

So after weeks of feeling ready to go into the world with my perspective and voice…to confidently take on the challenges and dissents of others…I see today that I will have to have a heart to heart with my own inner censor.

The majority used to think the world was flat.  The majority used to think the sun circled the Earth.  The majority used to think leeches were the cure-all.  So what if I’m not in the majority!  I will take a stand for myself and find the courage to speak my truths!  Whether or not they be majority or minority opinions, they are mine and I will stick behind them!  I’m tired of being controlled by my inner censor!  They say that you must be the change that you want to see in the world.  I will take notes from the Martin Luther King, Jr’s and the Rosa Park’s of the world and boldly stand my ground against my inner censor and soon, very soon, the world will hear my voice!

Here’s the kicker, Martin Luther King, Jr was assassinated.  Rosa Parks was arrested.  I don’t want any of that to happen to me.  Yep, I’m afraid of ‘going public’ with a minority voice.  Logically, I don’t really think I will be killed or arrested or harmed, but I’m still afraid.

So I want to put a big thanks out to a friend who recently shared a thought with me.  It was: “Imagine what you could do if you weren’t afraid“.  WOW!I think I’ll do that! I’ll keep moving forward, I’ll keep imagining, and I’ll see what comes next.

After all, If I don’t believe in myself with confidence, who else will?

Martin Luther King, Jr picture from america’slibrary.gov

Rosa Parks T-shirt image from T-shirt Guru at ChoiceShirts.com

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